Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Climbing through Fear

Fear is an emotion that like many other emotions can be both helpful and detrimental. Much of that depends on the situation in which the fear exists and the control over out life we give it. I have often talked to people about fear and how we must not let it rule our lives. 
Saturday up here at Camp Bartlett Jake and I decided to go climbing on our new climbing wall. I have climbed multiple times before with no issues but almost always that was with a person belaying me. This 30 foot outdoor wall has an auto belay system. I hooked in and started climbing. When I got to the top the wind was blowing and then I froze. "How am I supposed to get down?" Jake yelled up to me, "let go of the wall and hold onto your cable." I couldn't do it. Every time I took one hand off the wall and grabbed the cable I felt the looseness of the cable. Again Jake yelled up and said it will fall for a second and then catch, you just have to hold on. This is when my internal dialogue switched to "counselor mode." I began to tell myself that I was feeling fear and that I cannot let it rule my life. I have a goal to never let irrational fear rule my life and prevent me from doing something. After a few minutes I finally took my hands off the wall and grabbed my cable. I fell for a second and just like Jake said it soon caught me and slowed my decent. I got to the ground and was shaking like a leaf. I sat down and let my nerves calm. After about five minutes I said, "okay, to prove that fear isn't running my life I need to do this again." I got up and got back on that wall. This time it was much easier because I knew for myself that the cable would catch. 

As is typical of my mind I made connections from this experience to life. There have been many times where I have begun to do something that I love to do or feel like I am supposed to do and then there comes an unexpected obstacle. I have to figure out a way to overcome that obstacle and accomplish the task. There are many times when overcoming those obstacles that I have to take a leap. I have to feel the falling sensation before the atonement or help from God or others catches me. I also thought about Jake and how he told me what I needed to do and then waited for me to do it on my own. I need to trust those people on my life who are there to help me and lean on them until I can do it on my own. Jake could not get off that wall for me, I had to do it. However, I was able to lean on Jake's knowledge and experience until I learned and experienced on my own.